I'll say it again

Cancer sucks.

I am remarkably sad today. This morning at 8 am we got a phone call. I knew it was Bruce's parents. No one calls us at 8 am unless it is bad news. Bruce's mom has been battling cervical cancer for the past two and a half years. The cancer has metastisized it is in her lungs now. She was staged 3b when the whole ordeal began. We didn't know what to expect in the beginning.

We went through this two years ago with Bruce' cousin Ben. www.benjacobson.com He died of pancreatic cancer at age 32. It was really hard on us all. Especially the last few weeks. Basically, in the end they recommended palative care and Ben came home to die. Hospice came. They put a hospital bed in the living room. Famiy came. Friends came. You had to fight for your five minutes to say goodbye, to make your peace, to say I love you. Ben had great grace and dignity even at the end. I think he did it for us more than himself.

They called this morning to say that the doctor was recommending discontinuing chemotherapy, which in so many words means that she is most likely dying. If they do her time will be "measured in months" whatever that means. I am remarkably sad and trying to plan for whatever is to come now, which is in fact a giant unknown. We are planning to go east in a couple weeks and I probably can assess this all better in person. We will see what is to come.